THIMBLEFUL of THORNS - "QUICK JABS AT DEATH & THE WHORES IT RIDES IN ON." : L'CHAIM! = TO LIFE! : JEREMIADS & JAPES : GALLOWS HUMOR : LAVISHLY ILLUSTRATED : BY AN AMERICAN IN TAIWAN : JINGOISM WITHOUT TEARS ... SUPPORT OUR TROOPS ... SUPPORT ISRAEL ... SUPPORT TAIWAN ... BOYCOTT FRENCH LETTERS, GERMAN SAUSAGE, BELGIAN STATUES OF BOYS PEEING, RUSSIAN ROULETTE (& TURKISH TAFFY!) ... READ ALOUD TO SOMEONE YOU LOVE ... ADOPT A STRAY CAT ... EAT MORE TOFU ... (Contents & Malcontents: © 2003 Thimbleful of Thorns) "When we reflect on this struggle, we may console ourselves with the full belief, that the war of nature is not incessant, that no fear is felt, that death is generally prompt, and that the vigorous, the healthy, and the happy survive and multiply." - DARWIN

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Friday, February 14, 2003



Thursday, February 13, 2003




Wednesday, February 12, 2003
OZYMANDIAS
(Percy Byssche Shelley - 1817)

I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: `Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear --
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.'



Tuesday, February 11, 2003
REALITY OSCARS
Yesterday the Academy of Make-Believe People nominated its favorite Magic Lantern stars. But since so many of Heilwood's stormpuppets have been pretending they know something about the real world, let's take a moment to recall some of the folks whose actions touch the lives of Earth's permanent residents.

BEST MALE LEAD
SADDAM for his role in "When Putsch Comes to Shove It", about a deeply misunderstood boy and his pet reign-dear Blixen.

KIM Jr. for his role in the socialist non-musical disco-drama "Stalin Alive", about another deeply misunderstood boy starving for attention.

JACQUES and GERHARD for their roles in the non-violent erotic science fiction comedy "Little Corporals' Punishment", about Siamese clown-clones trying to whip a dead souffle back to life.

(Note: OSAMA was barred from nomination since he started hosting documentaries for Al Jeez-Really's "Caves of the Wretched Infamous".)

THIMBLEFUL of THORN'S PREDICTION
GEORGE for his role in the thriller "Backbone", about a deeply misunderstood man fighting to save the planet from radio-active invertibrates.



HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CHARLES DARWIN! (Born: Feb. 12, 1809)
"Anyone who dares to waste one hour of life has not discovered the value of life." One way NOT to waste a few hours is to read his "Voyage of the Beagle". For years I had a copy of it by my bedside. Dreams of vast seas and boundless jungles--and a wondrous sense of wonder. You can pick one up at Amazon, or download it for free here:
Online Literature Library - Charles Darwin - The Voyage of the Beagle


COWLY OWL! (C'est vachement chouette!)
Bienvenue-Welcome - I humbly mumble "merci" to the folks at Dissident Frogman and Merde in France for linking to me. I'm in the Republic of China - Taiwan, the island democracy recognized by such Pacific superpowers as Tonga. Not the PEOPLE'S Republic of China where Frankenreich has real embassies. (Most great nations have only trade mission fronts here, so as not to upset the PEOPLE.)



Monday, February 10, 2003
Weasels play chicken with Eagle - abandon Turkey


911 - GETTING OVER (THERE)
Julius Streicher...sorry, Joan Smith, writes in Der Sturmer...oops, darn, that should read: the Independent (UK), that America should get over 911. We will, the same way we did in 1917. Below is the chorus. (You can Google it and download the original done by Billy Murray and sing along.)

"Over There" by George M. Cohan

Over there, over there!
Send the word, send the word, over there!
That the Yanks are coming, the Yanks are coming,
The drums rum-tumming ev'rywhere!
So prepare, say a prayer, send the word, send the word to beware!
We'll be over, we're coming over,
And we won't come back 'til it's over Over There!



ORGANS of STATE - Belgium as Gaul-bladder
Mini-weasel Belgium joins with Frankenreich. Belgium? Talk about vassals! Mort Subite (Sudden Death) is one of the many wonderful beers from that drizzly little flatland. Quaff a bottle of it to celebrate the demise of NATO. Then recycle the beer and send it to Louis Michel, the European Union President.



MUSICAL DUNES - Egypt - The present imperfect (very) tense.
According to Jackson Diehl in the Washpot, Pharaoh Hosni I is anointing his son, Gamal, to shove up--sorry--to shove down the throats of the Egyptian people. No. Enough. To quote Elvis Costello: "Clowntime is over". Quoth the Clash: we're going to 'rock the casbah". And as Petey Pablo opined: "Anything is like to go down when you're in the Fun-Fun Room".
Down, not like dominoes--but like grains of sand in History's Hourglass. Give that Mummy-boy a scepter...better yet, a plastic shovel.



NON-SEQUI-TOURING
Japan-Tokyo-1987--English teacher--I came home from an evening of (failing) to bring my "salarymen" business zombies back from the numb. Ate some chicken and saw some videos of the recently released Was (Not Was) album "What Up Dog". Color me stunned. The brass, the orchestration--but most of all, the lyrics. Weird, funny, continually surprising--and storyful. (Listening to them now, black cat on the desk corner. So good to be alive, and remembering having been alive!)



GUTTURAL TUNESMITHS
What do Joe Cocker and Tom Waits have in common? Answer: Neither is quit as good or nearly as unknown in the West as Vladimir Vysotsky. I've always noted down the books and music mentioned in books I've liked. So in Martin Cruz Smith's Polar Star (underline that), when Zena (?), the fishline gal fell overboard and was brought back up--with slime eels in her belly--Arkady Renko was asked to find the killer. He first found tapes of thief songs--apparently a popular genre in the late Soviet ungerground. Anyway, Read the book, find the songs. Smoke a Camel--no, not the kind we'll be smoking soon. But that does beg the question: What do Joe Cocker and Tom Waits have in common with Sod'em Who's Sane? Answer: They'll still be able to expectorate in April.



Sunday, February 09, 2003
Frankenreich - Bones-apart and Schickelgrubber join farces
The two comic-operatta corporals led armed rhumba-lines through Europe, but they got cold feet in Moscow and limped off the dance floor. Now their offspring are rehearsing for an encore.

France, having misplaced its last knife in Colin Powell's back, has renounced violence. And Germany has beaten its swords into stock shares. So, posing little danger to one another, they want to smother New Europe in a peaceful embrace. Anschluss me baby. all night long!




Allies Exchange Barbs - from the Washington Post
And to the French and Germans I offer thorns!
I'm so tired of hearing them referred to as "key allies"! Old Europe will open no locks, not on doors, coffers or minds. Bind them in ankle bracelets and toss them in the oubliette of the Bastille-Spandau of history.



Darwin on Malthus (from Origin of Species)
"... as more individuals are produced than can possibly survive, there must in every case be a struggle for existence, either one individual with another of the same species, or with individuals of distinct species, or with the physical conditions of life."

BIAS
Just so you'll not be lulled by the occasional post about kittens and butterflies - This blog celebrates Life and its prime agent for improvement: Death.

So, as we await a change of mustache in Bagdad (and throughout the Muddled East) lift a glass with me and reach down into your throat for that guttaral hard "ch" and toast: "L'Chaim!" (To Life!).




EMAIL - Please
Should this blog wash up on the shore of your consciousness--be so kind as to drop me a line at the following address: thimblefulofthorns-at-yahoo-dot-com.
(Be sure to replace at and dot with the proper symbols.)



SURRENDER MONKEYS MONTHLY
After more than ten years as an American in Paris (and Montpellier) I have a bit of spleen to share (read: vent).

The first issue of my satire on various smudged facets of French "civilization" is nearly done. At least the cover with article highlights (on the French military). En fait, the cover is all there every will be. Inspired by the good folks (les braves gens!) over at Merde in France and The Dissident Frogman. (I'll link to them if I ever figure out how. May I deserve their links as well.)

SURRENDER MONKEYS MONTHLY
"Sitting on Defense"

(Cover: Young soldat en profile. On his shoulder: the French tricolour and a Vache Qui Rit (Laughing Cow Cheese) battalion badge.

Issue Highlights include:

CUISINE...
~ The Bayonnet - The Perfect Cheese Skewer
Who said it's only for white flags!
~ Frontline Fondu Recipes:
Don’t wash those socks!
~ Q: What wine goes with surrender?
A: White, of course!

You get the tone.



TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN

Death comes out of its tunnel to mail a letter
stepping on as many small animals as possible along the way

Sky goes white
glaciers rush into Europe
the dinosaurs throw in the towel

Death licks a stamp
and calls it a day





WELCOME!